females

How many times have I, after observing a typical female random act of stupidity, turned to my husband and said, "Man, I'm glad I'm not a girl,"? Of course, I AM a girl, but I do my best not to act like one.

I should say before I begin my list that EVERY female out there is not so bad; I consider myself and few others to be "ok." I will also concede that I am capable of the things about which I'm going to complain, as I think every woman is. So there's my disclaimer.

Here's what bothers me about girls, women, etc.:

1. I'll start with the one that puzzles me the most. Last night David and I went to eat at a little Mexican restaurant that was particularly overrun with high school girls at the time we were there. We walked in the door and a table-full of girls all turned and looked at me like I was something they had scraped off the bottom of their shoe. Maybe they thought I didn't look fit to be out in public because my midriff wasn't showing. Maybe they were disgusted by the obvious lack of sequins on my outfit. Who knows? It's not just me, though; I've seen girls look at OTHER girls the exact same way before. So what is it? I think it's because in some girls' minds, every other living, breathing, female human is competition for... something. Guys? Attention in general? Who knows? Thus, "I don't know you, but I hate you."

2. I remember when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine and I said something like, "This My Little Pony is sooooo cool! Where did you get it?" And she responded with something like, "Well, my mom got it from Wal-Mart, but she said it was the last one." That's all fine and great. It's possible that her mom got the last My Little Pony at Wal-Mart, but when that started being her response about EVERYTHING of hers that I liked... well, let's just say I got suspicious (actually I was too little to get suspicious, but I'm pretty sure my mom did). Likewise, I remember one Easter when another little friend of mine came to church saying, "My mom got me a chocolate bunny that's 14 and a half inches tall and it cost $30!!!" This same line of thought extends into adolescence and even adulthood. In high school, I remember a certain week when one of the girls practically did a running commentary (prices and all, of course) on the eBay auction where she was spending wads of her parents' money to get a microscopic Louis Vuitton purse. Adults do this too (women as well as men). Why? People like exclusivity. People like to feel like they got something special and that nobody else in the world has something as specal as they do. Personally, if I want something, I don't care if everybody I meet on the sidewalk has one just like it; however, there probably aren't too many things that everybody on the sidewalk has that I would want.

3. This is a big pet peeve of mine. My high school alma mater is tiny, a church affiliated private institution. Very good and lovely if everybody is friends, very bad and miserable if not. One situation that caused misery no matter where it takes place is anytime there are 3 girls stuck together. Almost always, two of the three will, as my mom says, "pair off," leaving the third girl to be the awkward odd gal out. Unfortunately, it's not usually enough for the two to just be friends. They normally insist upon, whispering in front of the third girl, purposely making it seem like their talking about/laughing at her, and so on and so forth. I was once friends with the two girls who forced me to be the awkward odd gal out until I finally figured out that neither of them were good enough to be called human beings, much less my friends. I count those few months as some of the most miserable times in my life and thoughts went through my mind that should never go through any good little Christian girls' minds. If I ever have a daughter, I will do everything within my power to keep her away from situations like this.

4. I think this had better be my last one, since this is already long. Why is it that a whole lot of, not just young women, but grown adult women think that "having cramps" is a viable excuse for anything? I've heard it used as an excuse for everything from screwing something up at a professional level job to getting out of going to school/church when you actually have a hangover. Even worse are the ones who claim they aren't themselves for around two weeks every month because of PMS. I'm sorry, but PMS is a figment of your imagination. Yes, I have the occasional cramp at certain times, but as far as having a headache, being moody or emotional, blah blah blah... guess what, girls! If that's PMS, I have it 24/7 365 days a year! And I'm so sorry that you started two days early and now you can't go camping. Shut up, you can go camping while you're on your period. The way I look at it is this: Long before there was Midol or Pamprin, long before there was birth contrl pills to make you more regular and lessen your symptoms, heck... long before there were such things as pads and tampons, women were GETTING IT DONE... full onset of symptoms, still having to take care of babies, clean the house, do the farm work, and, at the end of the day, WASH THINGS OUT BY HAND. Come on, ladies. Grow a set, already.

*Written on 8/26/06